Tops und Flops :: Texte :: milla

Transcript of Milla Jovovich's appearance on the Harald Schmidt Show, aired 19.03.2002 on Sat.1

M: Wow. It's a huge audience...

(audience gives applause)

H: Look at this, and listen... You're surprised?

M: Yes! It's big!

H: Yes...the studio?

M: We don't have anything in america which is as big as this!

H: Really?

M: And can I just say, these are some of the best backstage areas I've ever been in. I mean, they're huuuuuuuge. My dressing room has like such high ceilings, and it's SO big! Thank you!

H: Yes, oh welcome...but I

M: and I stuck all day in this...well, you know I went to VIVA today, and they don't

H: Yes...

M: (laughs)

H: I mean...yes...

M: there were like little boxes....

H: (interrupts)...yes...and, did they offer you drugs there?

M: (laughs) know, I say no...

H: No. The people there were charming, yes?

M: Oh yeah...

H: Do you remember the name of the boy or girl or whatever, who hosted the show at VIVA? Was it girl?

M: No...?!

H: Was it a boy?

M: Don't think so ...I hope so, he looked like a boy!

H: Yeah, was he...was he...

M: He was so cute though, he was adorable...

H: Really? Really? He was cute?

M: Not as cute as you!

H: Whow...but...Milla ist begeistert, I just translate a little bit for myself

M: Oh, yes - please!

H: Uhm, no, Milla ist begeistert von unseren großen Garderoben! You know, the dressing rooms, they are...I think, they are the biggest one in the world! But it's not because we love our guests so much, but it's because of the Bauvorschrift. You know, there are these rules...

M: Oh, I wish I knew this (gestures) german humor...this is very inside...

H: No, no! No, there are very strong - if you build something new, or if you renovate a building, the fire people come and say you have to have a F17 door, you know what it means?

M: What are we talking about? (laughs)

H: That means...if there's a fire and...(is interrupted by applause and milla's huge laughing burst)

H: Now...excuse me, I missed my last pill. I have to -

M: (fakes to pull some pills from her dress, which is summerly light pink)

M: Here you go... just kidding...

H: You have a beautiful dress -

M: I just came from VIVA, you know, I have the pills...

H: But have beautiful dress -

M: Thank you (with a high pitched break in her voice - seems she's smoked to much recently?)

H: Yes, it looks, to me it looks very spring, very summer, very californian...

M: Really? Well, it's italian, acutally.

H: Really?

M: Jaaaa...

H: Well, Italy's got also the sun and the beautiful weather, it's very ugly here, isn't?

M: Well, I wanted to bring some beautiful weather here today. Because it's not very pretty. But this city, Köln, rules! I'm sorry, but this is one of the most beautiful cities in germany.

H: Oh, so nice of you, well...we've such a bad time at the moment in cologne

M: Oh really?

H: yeeeees....

M: Why?

H: Corruption, corruption, corruption...

M: Yeah, you and the rest of the world!

H: No corruption, really, but the Müllverbrennung! Garbage burn, the garbage burning center! Yeah!

M: Is it really?

H: Do you know the movie Chinatown, by Roman Polanski?

M: Of yourse!

H: That's the way it will end! (stabs)

M: (laughs)

H: Yes, this is cologne, and it's so charming!

H: Well, I really like cologne. I hope it doesn't end badly...cause I really enjoyed coming here today!

H: (babbles) Is it your first time to cologne?

M: No it's my second time. I came here when I was about 14.

H: As a teenager? Have you already been a model?

M: Oh yeah. I started modelling when I was 11. So...

H: (shocked)

M: Yes, I was already a veteran by the time I was 14. In the modelling world I was a dinosaur. I was like a relic by the time I was 14.

H: (shocked again) Als 14-jährige ist man im Modellgeschäft schon ein DINO!

M: (laughs)

H: And you had always your mother with you around? Taking care?

M: Definitely. I think the modelling industry is one of least sort-of-protected, because it is so much a 20th century thing, uhm, you just don't have rules! You know, Little girls can go without their parents to Italy, to New York and they've no supervisions, it's really dangerous. And my mom is russian, first of all. She would never let my out of her sight.

H: Also, die Mutter ist Russin und war immer dabei, weil die Models werden alle natürlich von bösen Männern und so weiter belästigt. You were born in Kiev, is that right?

M: Yes, I was born in Kiev.

H: Do you know the Klitschoks? (Milla shakes her head) They are famous boxers here in Germany

M: Oh really? I looooove boxing.

H: Yes, they're very famous, they're brothers. Vladi and...I forgot the second's name name - Vitali! Vitali and Vladimir Klitschko!

M: Wow!

H: Yes, but you don't speak any russian any more, no?

M: Of course I speak Russian!

H: Oh really, perfect! Oh, excuse me!

M: No, it's okay.

H: You speak russian at home?

M: Yes, definitely!

H: Can you say a few words in russian?

M: (bables 6-7 words in russian)

M: That's great, that makes you seem like a completely different person!

M: Really?

H: Yes. So if you speak russian you're even more attractive as you are in english. (the audience laughs) No, it's not possible, I know!

M: Oh, Mister Schmidt!

H: No, you know what I mean! You know what I mean! You're a beautiful woman, you know...everybody knows you

M: Ohhhhh - what's this guy doing? (asking the audience) Honestly here!

H: No, I paid millions because you're a beautiful woman!

M: So...(stands up) Look, here's my number, okay - just here... (Milla searches for a pen, find one, but it appears to be a extensible pointing-stick, which she extends with largening eyes)

H: This is a pencil (Harald tries to hand her a right pencil over, but Milla only strikes with here new toy at him) - Oh, I like this

M: I know, you're german! Of course you like that! (puts the pen back on the desks, laughs sadistically)

H: So, it's a good idea (picks up the pen by himself and extends it). Tell us something about making movies in france!

M: oooh (bending her knees like a schoolgirls, putting on a sexually look) gimme that! (reaching for the pen)

H: You're quite successful, you're very successful as an actress...

M: (only caring for her toy) Yes!

H: I've been to france last summer (putting on a french accent)

M: Really? (still only caring for her toy)

H: And I saw a very very, how do you call it, bills? Or posters? In the subway, and at the beach...everywhere... there's you, you, you!

M: Of course...I'm not really selfish, but it's all about me, me, ME!

H: Yes! No, it seems the whole public relation was on your person!

M: Well, I do model for L'Oreal, so that was probably...

H: L'Oreal? That's for old men having some color in their hair. Yes, I know it, a lot of people do...

M: (laughs)...Weil ich es mir wert bin! (quotes the german slogan of L'Oreal with a quite good german sounding, maybe a bit to russion-influenced but allright)

(audience laughs)

H: Very good! They will love you! Weil ich es mir wert bin! That's good!

M: That's the only german I know!

H: That's great! What I really love about you is, you can look so different in the Movies. For example as Jeanne D'Arc, and in the Fifth Element...

M: Yeah...

H: And in the movie, we show a clip so that people can imagine how hard it is. You work with very dangerous dogs!

M: Yes, that was pretty crazy!

H: They were real?

M: Well, you know, the director of the movie didn't want stunt dogs because usually they're very passive. So...and we didn't have all the money in the world for computer graphics, so he wanted the real thing, and he got these retired security animals. So, pretty much, they said "Don't touch them. Now, when we say action, you run. Really fast. And close the door. Really hard". And that was kind of my direction, I said "Okay, I'm stupid, I'm just gonna do this!" (pauses, the audience laughs) Cause I wanna be serious. (puts her fist up, makes a serious face) You know! I want really to be taken seriously, so I just gotta put my life at risk!

H: Method acting!

M: Yea...but you know what, it was allright! I can run pretty fast, so I was confident.

H: Yes. And, you have little dog?

M: I do!

H: Charming!

M: She's backstage! They told me not to bring her up...

H: Aaaaaoooh!

M: ...because you're scared of it!

H: No, I love it! And I've already said hello to her,

M: I know but...

H: and her name's "madness"!

M: I wanted to bring her...(makes a sad face)

H: hm...bring her next time!

M: Actually, I have this miniature malteser [?] and I mean it's really cheesy, because obviously she's so cute, and then she's so little. But I mean I just really think that she could be vicious as well! And I tried to say that to the director of the film, but he said "No, you can't go to Germany with your dog, because it will give our film a bad impression. Because nobody wants to see the star of Resident Evil carrying this like beverly-hills house-wife dog.

H: Ja...

M: You know...

H: (barks high-pitchedly)

M: I know - but listen! I don't ever put bows in her hair! Ever!

H: No, but it's beautiful!

M: Ever!

H: Where I come from, people call this kind of dog "Putzenlecker"

M: You know what...I don't understand german, but I got that!

H: Yeah!

M: It's like, it just didn't sound right!

H: No, no - it's okay! It's for, for...for...

M: For Putzes!

H: No, it's like for women who enjoy a little piccolo at ten o'clock in the morning, husband, their be...

M: (cheers) - Well, that's me! A little piccolo!

H: Their beloved, (interrupted by Milla's laughing), I mean you're not a typically; in Germany, their beloved husband passed away 10 or 15 years, and left them a lot, a huge sum of money...

M: Love that! (makes the "money makes the world go round"-gesture)

H: So will will show your clip, Residence Evil [he did misspell it that way really often] and congratulation, a very successful box office. Number two in the USA, is that right?

M: Well yes, that Ice Age...(wrinkles her hands sadistically)

H: Yess! That means how many dollars?

M: 18 point 2 million! (points her finger up and strikes her hand downwards)

H: Wow, 18 point 2 million dollars!

M: That's great...these little critters beat us, uargh, kill 'em!

H: Who?

M: Those Ice Age critters, those damned computer generated animals... I hate them

H: Yes, yes. I will vote that this fuckin' movie won't come to Germany! (gets aroused)

M: (makes a big face because of the word fuck)

H: ...who ruined you...No, we beep that out!

M: Ooooh! He's bad! I like it!

H: No, it's not allowed to say this in the USA?

M: Oh no, are you kidding?

H: You beep on the show?

M: So much!

H: Yeah, but sometimes you must...

M: That's, why most of my interviews are like - beep-beep, beep-beep-beep...

H: Really? No!

M: know,

H: Do you live more in Los...

M: I'm a very versatile personality, and that's the thing. A lot of times when I do interviews, people only write oneth like side of it, you know, because I make a lot of jokes and sometimes they're not in the best of taste. So of cou...

H: Welcome to our show [can't understand what he really said]!

M: So of course they only print that. It's depressing. My mom hates it.

H: Really?

M: (more to herself) She's still a very strong figure in my life...

H: Moms always do. My mom calls twice a week and says "Nothing about the Pope, please!". Because I'm a roman catholic.

M: I know, the Pope is kind of a weird subject right now, right? But let's not...

H: Please, don't touch my religion! (hums)

H: He had a big success in Kiev few years ago...

M: (didn't get, of whom he's now speaking - pondering) He did?

H: He, sure, yes.

M: Oh, what happened?

H: You as well?

H: He went and had a big Gottesdienst, mess. Messe. Mess...?

M: Mass! Mass, mass, mass...Yeah...

H: This could be dangerous in english, he was in a mess!

M: (laughs)

H: No, he was a big success, 300000 people said: "Yeah!"

M: Said: "Yeeeeeeeeah! THE POPE!" (makes a weird gesture, throwing her hands up in the air, making Heavy-Metal like figures with her hand)

H: Okay, now we show...(looks confused)

M: Sorry! (giggles)

(They talk something about a russion version of the dogs or something like that. I got it overheard because of the audience)

(Harald announces the dog-clip of Resident evil, which is now seen)

M: (makes a cool gesture like she's proud of the clip) What's up!

H: No stunt woman! All on your own! I keep my fingers crossed for your movie

M: Thank you!

H: I was really glad to have you on the program...

M: It was so great to meet you...

H: Please come back!

M: Oh, I would love to!

(Harald makes his farewell to the audience. After the show ended, he exchanged some more words with here and gave his congratulations once again. After that, Milla went off cheering to the audience as if the camera was still running. Pretty cute, once again. ;-)

Pictures to this event can be found on this homepage.
Aired on 19.03.2002 23:15 - 00:05, Sat.1. Transcribed by Garvin Hicking (, Please link directly to this page and do not copy it's content.